Ellie
by spottedhorse
Summary: She's back and causing more grief for Jim. Will it ever end?


Okay, so I was writing the scene between Lindsey and Ellie for Quicksilver and this popped into my head. It's a bit twisted, I know. But it just wouldn't go away. So here it is. Please, pretty please, let me know what you think.

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Jim Brass was just finishing a long shift when his phone rang. He groaned as he reached for it, frustrated with the knowledge that his shift was about to get longer. So it came as a surprise when the voice on the other end had nothing to do with work.

"It's me," she said quietly. "I'm in town and I'm thought maybe…"

Jim swallowed deeply at the sound of his daughter's voice, the daughter he hadn't heard from in over two years. "Maybe what Ellie?"

"I dunno…coffee or something?"

Jim's eyes closed involuntarily, as if in pain. He wanted to see her, have one more chance to get through to her, but he wasn't sure if he was prepared for the inevitable pain. "Yeah, okay. Where are you?"

"Freemont Street. There's a coffee shop just around the block. It's called Java Express."

"Yeah, I know the place. It'll probably be about an hour before I can get there…"

"Yeah…okay. I'll see you then."

Jim finished the last of his reports and grabbing his jacket, headed out. His hour was about up. His stomach was turning flips as his car rolled into the parking slot behind the shop and bile rose in his throat as he cut the engine. A deep sigh calmed him and he found the courage to proceed.

Ellie was seated at a table near the window. She was nursing a steaming cup of coffee. As he approached, she barely looked up. "On time for a change," was her greeting.

"Yeah," he grunted, starting to feel sick again. "I'll get a cup and be right back. You need anything else?"

She nodded, staring into the steam rising in her cup.

He used the wait for his coffee to center himself again. She looked better than the last time he'd seen her. No, he had to amend that thought. She'd been at the hospital when he woke up but he had only a vague recollection. Ellie in LA was his last strong memory of her. And that memory was enough to make him wish for a shot of whiskey to mix in the coffee. He returned to her table with his own steaming cup and settled across from her, waiting for the bomb. With Ellie, there was always fireworks or worse. And when she called him, it was usually worse.

"So you're in town…" he started, leaving it open ended purposefully.

"Yeah, I wanted to see you." She said pointedly.

Jim sat, dumbstruck. "You wanted to see me? Since when?"

"I um…talked to Mom. She just broke up with her latest amour and she's pissed at you again."

Jim rolled his eyes as he leaned back in chair, exhaling a deep breath. "Yeah, so what's new about that?"

"She told me some stuff….things I need you to confirm."

"Me? What could she tell you that I can confirm. I haven't seen her in years. I don't know anything about her anymore."

"She….um, she told me that…."

Suddenly Jim knew what this was all about. Nancy had gone back on their agreement and told Ellie the truth. And Ellie was coming to him to check her story.

"She told me that you aren't really my father," Ellie managed to spit out. "That some loser named Mike O'Toole is."

Jim's already pale skin had completely lost its color as he listened to her. His stomach was no longer doing flips, he'd just received a full blow to the gut and his stomach was located somewhere in this throat, just above his the heart. He fought back the nausea that threatened and grunted to pull himself back into the reality before him. Ellie knew the truth now and any hope he had of still being a father to her was gone. He had lost everything.

"So by your non response, I guess that means she was telling the truth…" Ellie said bitterly. "That bitch!" She exclaimed, jolting Jim to his core.

"Ellie," he struggled to speak. "I never wanted…"

"So it's all a lie? My whole life is a lie?"

"No, get rid of that….get it out of your head. You're real and I never thought of you as…you were always mine, Ellie, from the first time I laid eyes on you…you were mine."

"Yeah, right," she spat. "I was so much yours that you left."

Jim sighed. "Look, I screwed up a lot of things but I left _her_, not you. You were the only good thing out of all of that."

"Sure Dad…oh wait, I can't call you that anymore, can I…Jim?"

"Ellie…" He felt his world crashing around him. She had called him Jim, rejected him as her father. His worst nightmare was happening.

"No, don't….I need some time to ….to, I dunno…figure things out."

"Look, why don't you stay at my place. We can talk more. Please don't leave again, Ellie. Not like this…"

She looked at him, tears sitting in her eyes and anger obvious in her features. After a moment's thought, she responded. "Okay, I'll stay with you…for a few days."

Jim sighed in relief. "Good. Where's your stuff? My car is out back…"

"Just one bag," she said as she glanced down at the backpack under the table.

"Oh, okay….well, you ready?"

"Sure," she said lethargically as she grabbed her bag to follow him out of the door.

Jim showed her the guest room when they got to his house. He gave her a few minutes to unpack while he headed to his room to shed his suit and find something more casual. "We can do some shopping if you need more clothes," he told her as he walked down the hall towards the living room, where she had wandered. "Yeah, sure," she replied.

"Hungry? I can find something, I think…or we could call out."

"Yeah, whatever," she said apathetically.

"Yeah," he grunted as he headed for the kitchen. Sifting through the contents of his refrigerator and cabinets, Jim decided that breakfast was the only decent meal he could throw together. He busied himself with eggs, sausage, and pancakes, trying not to think about the trouble that sat in the next room.

They ate in silence and as he cleaned the kitchen, she turned on the television. When he walked into the living room, she was curled up on the couch, staring at the set but not really watching. "Anything good on?" he asked.

"Not really," she yawned. "Guess I'll go to bed, if that's okay…"

"Sure. I um…I'll check the news and head for bed myself."

"Okay. So…goodnight…"

"Goodnight, pleasant dreams," he said, falling back into an old pattern.

"Yeah….right…" she drawled as she turned and left the room. Jim watched her walk down the hall to her room, sadness seeping into his depths.

A sound woke him from a deep sleep. He wasn't used to anyone else in the house and her footsteps had set off internal alarms, stirring him from his slumber. As his eyes came into focus, he saw her standing at the side of the bed, staring down at him. "Ellie?"

"Yeah, it's me. I couldn't sleep."

Jim shifted in the bed and scooted to a sitting position. "Yeah, I guess that's not surprising…"

Ellie sat on the edge of his bed, quiet for a minute. When she did speak, her words and tone turned Jim's blood to ice. "I was thinking I should pay you back for everything…you know all the money you spent on me while you were pretending to be my father… I just don't have anything to pay you back with, except…me." Her body language changed as she spoke transforming her into the predatory hooker he had watched several years ago in LA. The conversion sickened him.

"Ellie, don't so this. First place, I am your father and this is wrong…and secondly, you cheapen yourself with this."

She leaned closer. "But you're not my father…and I need to pay you back. And I'm not cheapening myself…my mother did that when she …did what she did and forced us both into her lies."

"Ellie," he responded, tenderness softening his usually gravelly voice. "Honey, I asked your mother to never tell you. I was afraid that if you knew…I love you Ellie; I have since the first time I held you. I've never thought of you as anything but my kid. Please Ellie don't destroy that. Don't do this…"

She scooted closer to him, putting her hand on his cheek. "How would you like it, Jim?"

Jim flinched and started to move to the opposite side of the bed, ready to head for the bathroom and relative safety. "Oh come on, you can't tell me that in all those years you didn't think about it? I mean, especially after I got older. I mean, it wouldn't really be wrong would it, since I'm not really your kid? Is that why you have so many pictures of me as a little kid? You didn't have those feelings then, did you? But as I got older…"

"Stop it!" he snapped. Nausea was hitting him in waves. "I never…God, Ellie…" he said, his emotions overflowing, "I never…you are my daughter even if I wasn't the sperm donor…"

"Oh so that's how you want to play it…be my Sugar Daddy. Okay, I know that game…" She crawled into the bed. It was then that Jim realized all she wore was a flimsy teddy. His eyes grew huge as his gut lurched again. "God…no…." he whimpered as he bailed out of the opposite side. He grabbed his slacks and pulled them on as he hopped across the room. Finally he made it to the bathroom where he emptied the contents of his stomach. Once he was sure that the heaving had stopped, he leaned back into the wall, sitting on the floor in absolute despair, tears streaming down his face. "Oh god…" he moaned. It was then that sobs overtook him. This was worse than his worst nightmares. His baby girl had rejected him as her father and now was treating him like a john, trying to provide services for what she viewed as payments in advance. The whole scenario sickened him and at that moment, he wanted to kill Nancy, his ex, for bringing this on.

Slowly Jim calmed down, cleaned up and stepped out of the bathroom. Ellie was still in his bed. He walked over, smiled, put his arms around her and pulled her to him. Picking her up, he carried her to her room and summarily dumped her in her own bed. "You're not woman enough for me little girl." And he turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Jim lay in his bed, wide awake the rest of the night, scared about what the morning would bring. When he emerged from his room after sunrise, the house was quiet. The door to Ellie's room was still closed. He put on some coffee and retrieved the paper from outside. He had just opened the sports section when he heard her in the hall.

She shuffled into the kitchen, dressed more appropriately now. Jim watched her as she made her way to the sink and poured a glass of water. She wouldn't look at him.

"Ellie…" he began.

"I don't who I am anymore," she cried. "I thought I was Ellie Brass, daughter of Jim and Nancy Brass. But I'm not. I'm the daughter of loser Mike O'Toole and slut, Nancy Brass. What does that make me?"

Jim slid off his barstool and walked over to her, gathering her in his arms. "Mike O'Toole was the sperm donor, Ellie. That's all. In a way, you're more special to me than if you had been 'the fruit of my loin," he said in a light hearted manner. "I chose to be your father; I chose you…and by some miracle you seemed to choose me when you were a baby. When I first held you, you looked up at me with those big eyes of yours and tugged at my heart. And then you settled into my arms and drifted off to sleep. You wouldn't so that for anyone else, just me. It used to make your mom furious because you'd be screaming at the top of your lungs and then I'd pick you up and you quieted instantly. We had something special, Ellie. And I botched it by leaving. I wish I could go back and change some things; maybe it would have turned out differently. But regardless, you are my daughter because I wanted it to be that way and I still do. That's who you are; Ellie Brass, my kid."

She turned her face towards him, her eyes glistening as she looked into his. "Daddy," she whimpered as she settled back into his embrace, much the same as she had done so many years ago as a baby. And Jim knew that finally, it was over; all the years of rebellion and anger were over and he had his baby girl back. And life was good again.


End file.
